Forks Again
by l'ordinateur de terre
Summary: After many years, the Cullen's return to Forks, to face high school--again. People hitting on the Cullens, Emmett's pranks, school dances, and any other thing that could happen in high school. POST BREAKING DAWN.
1. Vice Principal Ding

**DISCLAIMER: YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: PICS OF ALL OUTFITS ARE ON MY PROFILE**

**Forks Again**

_Vice-Principal Ding_

I pulled myself off the couch and into my bedroom. I had been sitting on the couch for the last seven hours, daydreaming about the most random things. One week ago, the Cullen family came back to Forks after 100 years of traveling across the US. Today, we would begin school. Back to Forks High School, where my beginning of forever began.

"Bella, love" Edward said "Alice has an outfit picked out for you, it's in her room" I groaned, but was glad that Alice no longer used make-up on me.

I stumbled into Alice and Jasper's room.

"Hi Bella!" Alice ran over to me

"Hi Alice, let's see the outfit" I said flatly. Alice ran into her closet and came out with a bag.

"Open it!" she said. I looked inside. A white skirt and a blue long sleeve v-neck tee, with a diamond necklace. "Do you like it?" she asked excitedly. I had to admit, this was a pretty good outfit.

"I love it" I told her. Alice squealed, and came ran back into her closet and fetched a pair of shoes. Silver flip-flops, pure leather. "Hurry up!" she said "We have to leave in ten minutes!" she ran off at vampire speed. I slipped her outfit on and made my way downstairs at normal speed. I took notice of everything in the house, I had missed this house, it felt good to be back.

"Bella!" Esme called. I sped up. Esme hugged me and waved goodbye as I headed towards Edward's silver Volvo. He still refused to get rid of that car, saying that it held too many good memories to get rid of, I would be sad too to see that car go. With Rosalie's expertise, the car still looked brand new. The rest of the Cullen's had bought new cars, although some of the ones from when I was human still remained.

Renesme, my beautiful daughter, hugged me goodbye by the car. "By mom!" she said "Enjoy high school!" Jacob was with her, his arm around her. Jacob hadn't aged for 100 years so he could stay with Renesme. His friends had aged and now were dead.

The Volvo drove off at 100 mph with Edward in the driver's seat, me in the passenger seat, and Jasper and Alice in the back. Rosalie and Emmett had taken another car that belonged to Rosalie. The car drove into the school parking lot, which had changed a bit since I was last here. The parking lot was larger and had a new coat of paint marking the parking spaces. The buildings had been updated, but still a bit old and crumbly. Edward stopped the engine and went over the story with us. Rosalie, Jasper and I were the Hales, and the others were the Cullen's. We moved from Virginia and were adopted children. Edward, Alice, and I were juniors, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were seniors.

Alice and Jasper got out from the backseat, and Edward and I got out form the front, then the staring began, girls looking at Jasper and Edward, and guys looking and me and Alice. Just wait until Rosalie gets here, then the guys would really stare. Just as I thought that, Rosalie's new car pulled into the parking lot and she got out. A few guys didn't even notice that they were drooling. Edward has his teeth clenched tightly. He had to listen to the thoughts behind the stares, and that didn't make his the most happy man in the world. I could hear their whispers from where I was, thanks to my super human hearing.

"_I call that one!"_

"_Ooh, new kids, and they look good, I think I'll pink the blonde"_

"_I'll ask her out"_

"_I like the little black haired one, she's mine"_

"_You can have her, I want the brunette"_

"_Wow, all those muscles, I want that one!"_

I growled in disgust. It was like this where ever we went.

We walked to the office to pick up our schedules, holding hands with our mate, showing people that we were already taken, but that never did any good where ever we went. We walked into the office, which was now larger and more organized, with white stone walls and antique furniture and a giant oak desk with a brown haired man sitting behind the desk. He was the secretary.

"Excuse me, we are the Cullen's and the Hale's. We are here to pick up our schedules" Edward said

"Sure guys" the secretary said. He looked up and saw us, and I heard his heart beat faster. He reached into a file and took our a stack of papers. "H-here are your schedules and a copy of the school rulebook, en-enjoy your time here at Forks High"

"Thanks so much" I said, and he blushed, which made Edward a bit tense. He handed out our schedules and I looked at mine. _Trigonometry, History, French, Gym, Lunch, English, Music, Biology._ I compared it to Edward's schedule. We had French, Gym, Lunch, and Biology together. I smiled at the biology. That was where it all started for us 102 years ago.

Edward and I said goodbye to each other before walking to our first period classes. The school had some updates. There were fewer buildings, instead, there were three large buildings and a cafeteria. I made my way to building two, where the math and science rooms were located. Unfortunately, Alice wasn't in my first period, so I was all alone. I walked into the classroom, and I saw the eyes pop. I found the teacher sitting at a desk in the front of the room.

"Um, sir?" I said

"Yes?" He looked at me "Oh, you must be a new student, nice to have you here in class, I'm , you can take a seat anywhere"

I walked to the back of the room so people couldn't stare at me. A few boys tried to catch my eye but I looked down the whole time, avoiding their eyes.

"She's hot" somebody said

"I'm going to ask her out after class, wish me luck"

I groaned mentally.

The teacher started class just then.

"Hello class, we have a new student, let her introduce herself." turned to me and nodded. was a weird name, I wonder what his first name was. I looked down at my schedule. Ted. Ted Gold. I bit my lip to prevent from laughing.

"I'm Isabella Hale" I said "I moved from Virginia with my adopted family." I practiced my well rehearsed lines.

"Thank you Miss Hale, now let's start class." spent the rest of the class period going on about stuff I've learned many times in my life. I didn't pay attention, my thoughts were on Edward. I wondered what he was doing currently and how many girls were planning to ask him out.

The bell rang and I rushed out of the classroom to avoid boys. They get really annoying after a century. I was about to go to history when a voice came onto the loud speaker.

"This is the office, can Isabella Hale please come here?" I prayed that nobody knew it was me, but since I was new here, they probably did. Everybody turned to look at me. If I could blush, I would've at that moment. A few girls looked at me with open mouths, jealousy rolling off of them. A couple boys tried to catch my eye but I rushed out of the building as fast as human speed would allow.

I pulled open the door to the office, where the secretary was sitting there.

"Miss Hale, glad you could make it, the vice-principal would like to have a meeting with you. His office is right through there. We have excused you from history." I nodded and pushed open a mahogany door to a golden walled office. A man no older than thirty was sitting in a giant rolling chair behind a mahogany desk with the nameplate "Bill Ding" I almost laughed at the name.

"You wanted to see me" I said

"Yes Miss Hale, please sit down" I gestured to a chair in front of his desk. I obeyed him and took a seat in the chair." I saw you get to school this morning and I couldn't help but notice you. You are very charming."

"Er, thanks" I replied. I wasn't going to be asked out by the vice-principal was I?

"I am only 25, yet look where I've gotten in life. I'm only eight years older than you Isabella, and I am willing to put aside all age differences for our relationship." He said

"I'm sorry, I have I boyfriend" I told him

"You have a boyfriend?" He raised an eyebrow "Well may I suggest you ditch him for me."

"I'm sorry, but we have been together for a _very_ long time"

"Ah, but one date wouldn't hurt, see the selection of boys?"

"I am a student, you are a vice-principal, this is wrong." I told him

"You will change your mind young lady" he said. Then handed me a slip of paper. I looked at it.

_**Remember, I'm Bill Ding, and I have the perfect date for us, alone. Please call at 345-234-5234, I'll be waiting in the office.**_

"I have to go now" I told him

"Come back with you mind made up!" he said. I hurried out of the office and hid in the forest, I couldn't believe what just happened. A staff member hitting on a student, it should be illegal in all 50 states and Puerto-Rico.

The bell rang and I came out of my hiding place to spend third period with Edward. I found him walking towards building three, I caught up and grabbed his hand. He jumped then turned to smile at me.

"Hello, love, how was your day so far?" he asked. I contemplated if I should tell him about the incident with Vice-Principal Ding. I decided not to, I didn't need him dead.

"Fine" I lied

"That's good to hear. I however, have heard more than my share of inappropriate thoughts." He said "But I'm glad your morning was good."

We walked into the French room to find it completely unlike a classroom. The walls were covered in velvet and posters of the French tourist attractions. A warm glow lit the room to a golden red color, and the floors were red. It was very cozy. The desks were replaced with wooded tables and soft chairs, and the teacher's desk was grand. It was all fancy.

"Bonjour, new students?" the teacher asked. She had curly red hair and was wearing a black skirt and bandeau tank tap (probably both from France) and Prada pumps. Wow, this woman must be rich. She was looking at Edward, and I had to admit, it made me kind of mad to see women hitting on him. She kept us in front of the class as students filled in, staring at me and Edward. When the bell rang, the teacher spoke.

"Bonjour, we have new students, introduce yourselves, in French if you can." I stepped forward.

"Bonjour, je m'applle Bella Hale" (FYI, she just said "Hello, my name is Bella Hale")

"Tell us more, your age, your favorite activities"

"Er, j'ai six-sept ans, et j'aime lire" ("I am seventeen years old and I like to read")

"Et toi?" she said to Edward

"Je m'applle Edward Cullen, j'ai dix-sept ans, j'aime ecouter la musique" (My name is Edward Cullen, I am seventeen, I like to listen to music)

"Merci, asseyez-vous s'il vous plait!" (Thank you, sit down please)

Edward and I found two seats in the back of the room next to a blond haired girl and a blond haired boy. The girl reminded me of Lauren. Wearing too much make-up, revealing clothing, and expensive shoes. The boy reminded me of Mike, with spiky blond hair and blue eyes. We spent the class period doing a worksheet on conjugating, and Edward and I were the first ones done. We handed our worksheets in.

"Wow, you are smart" the teacher said. I didn't even know her name. She was speaking only to Edward. Edward nodded and we took our seats again, where I checked the teacher's name. Adeline Facet. I let out a low snicker, were all the names here so lame? Edward turned to me and I hefted my shield out of me to let him know what I was thinking. He chuckled too low for humans to hear.

The bell rang, which meant it was time for gym.


	2. Coach Tator and The Dance

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**I'M TRYING TO UPDATE THIS STORY WHEN I CAN, BUT I HAVE TWO OTHER STORIES THAT I'M WORKING ON.**

_**Coach Tator and a Dance**_

Edward whisked me off to gym, where I usually was bad. Now that I was a vampire, I didn't have to get worried about getting hurt, I just had to worry about not hurting others. Edward and I parted at the entrance. Him going left and I going right to change our clothing. Alice had stocked our gym lockers full with gym shorts, shirts, and headbands. I slipped my skirt off and replaced it with blue gym shorts, and my shirt with a white tank top. At least they didn't make us uniform here anymore. I stepped into the gym and sat on the bleachers to wait for the teachers just like everybody else. I saw a few guys eyeing me, but they turned around quickly when Edward game and gave them "the look".

The gym teacher walked out from the boy's locker room with a clipboard in one hand and a whistle around his neck. He was old and almost bald, with a kind face. He wore a white tee-shirt, tight around his beer gut, and he wore red gym shorts. He was the only teacher I saw wearing a name tag. I could see that his name was Dick Tator. I struggled to hold a laugh in. This school had the funniest named teachers.

"Hello there class, we have new students, I see. Let's see how they hold up. We're in our conditioning unit, it's quite difficult and tiring" He announced. I smirked, like anything here would be hard. "We start of with a warm up! Everybody outside, and two laps around the track." A few students groaned, but I went out gracefully, and began running with Edward by my side.

"Dick Tator" I said. Edward laughed

"You should see the names of some of the other teachers, that'll show you funny.

Edward and I were the first to finish our laps, and the teacher came over and checked our names off for completion of the laps.

"Well, you two seemed to handle that well, but I warn you, the conditioning unit is not easy." He said. I giggled.

When the last student finished, Coach Tator gave us our next set of things to do. Fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, then another lap around the track.

"One-two-three…" the class began to count

I hefted my shield out of my mind

Edward, was is the teacher thinking?

Edward whispered in a voice humans couldn't hear. "He is thinking weather we're on steroids, we're doing this so easily, try to not get first during the lap, okay?"

Sure

I put my shield back in and counted with the class

"Fifteen-sixteen-seventeen…"

"Jay Walker is staring at you" Edward whispered. Jay Walker? I almost burst out laughing. "He wants to ask you out, but isn't sure how to approach you." Edward said. "He's going to ask you after class, be sure to say no to him" I laughed. Of course I would say no.

"Who's Jay Walker?"

"He's the kid over there with the spiky blonde hair, kind of like Newton"

When I got out of the locker room after gym, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and prepared myself for Jay Walker. He was there, smiling and crossing his fingers.

"Your Bella Hale right?" He asked

"That's me"

"I was just wondering is you would want to go to see a movie with me tonight, and then go to my house"

"Jay…"

"You know my name?"

"Er, long story."

"Well, how about it? We see a romantic movie and then hang at my house. My parents won't be home and my sister has a date."

Suddenly, I felt cold arms wrap around me.

"NO!" I turned and saw Edward seething and growling at Jay "She is mine !"

Jay walked away, horrified.

"I thought you wanted me to handle it" I told him

'That was until I heard what he said and what he thought. Absolutely revolting and disturbing." Edward growled again. I laughed "C'mon let's get to lunch." I dragged him over to the cafeteria.

Wa

The cafeteria hadn't changed one bit. It still had it's tables and posters. I gasped when I saw it. It brought back fuzzy human memories of Edward.

"I like it too, love" Edward said.

We sat at a table in the bottom left of the cafeteria, where people couldn't gawk at us, but they still found a way to do so. A few girls were staring at Edward and Emmett—okay make that a lot. A girl got the nerve to come up to us. It was the Lauren-like girl.

"Er, hello, I'm Tiffany Newton." My mouth dropped open, but I promptly closed it before Tiffany noticed. This girl was related to Mike Newton, not Lauren, Mike. I was sure Emmett was thinking the same thing, because he began to snicker. "Er, so I wanted to speak with Edward" she said. Before she could continue, I locked my mouth with Edward's and I heard Tiffany gasp and stomp off. I pulled away and laughed.

"If more girls come up to me, I don't think I'd mind" Edward said. I growled playfully.

Edward turned his attention to something jutting out of my left pocket. It was the note Bill Ding had given me. Edward couldn't see it. If he did, he would kill Bill. I laughed mentally at my rhyme.

"What's this?" he asked. Before I could say or do anything, he took it out of my pocket and read it aloud. "Remember, I'm Bill Ding, and I have the perfect date for us, alone. Please call at 345-234-5234, I'll be waiting in the office." Edward growled sharply, and people in the cafeteria turned to look at him. He coughed and they turned away. "I am going to kill him!" Edward jumped up and I held him down.

"Calm" I told him. He took a deep breath, but I could see the urge for violence behind his eyes. "It's okay, I was planning to burn that." I said. Edward smiled, then said "Allow me to do those honors."

I played with my human food. I couldn't believe that stuff used to be appealing to me. Right now, it seemed utterly disgusting. I got up to dump it out before I threw up last night's hunt—not that I could, but I felt that it could happen. Edward followed me, "That stuff doesn't look too good, does it?" he asked. I frowned. We walked back to our table, and saw a boy hanging up a new poster on the walll.

FORKS HIGH SCHOOL DANCE

All students are invited to the Dance this Friday

7:00-10:00 PM

A night of dancing, food, and a rockin' party.

ADMISSION FEE IS $5.00

"Want to go?" Edward asked

"Sure, now that dancing isn't a problem for me anymore, as long as Alice doesn't buy me something to wear that I would object to. Then, it's fine with me" I replied.

"By the way, some boys might ask you to the dance" Edward said

"And some girls might ask you" I told him.

"Hey, big dance on Friday" Emmett said. Alice's eyes lit up "Wanna see who gets asked out the most?" Emmett asked. Winner has to strip down in front of the family, except for Esme and Carlisle, since they won't feel happy about that."

"No Emmett" I said

"Actually, it's a good idea" Alice said "Minus the stripping part. How about person who gets asked the most has to go shirtless for a day, and person who gets asked the least gets asked the least has to hit on Vice=Principal Ding if they're a girl, and Mrs. Facet if you are a guy. That way we wont want to avoid people, but we won't want to try and get asked either."

"But we would get in trouble with a shirt off" I said

"Fine, then person who gets asked out the most has to burn Carlisle's favorite medical book and destroy Esme's gardening tools in front of them"

"DEAL!" Emmett said excitedly

"Absolutely not" I said

"No way" Edward said

"I'm in" Rosalie chirped

"Sure" Jasper said

"Please, please, please?" Alice said to me "Bella, if you really love me, please?"

"C'mon Eddie!" Emmett said "Why not? Scared?"

"I am not scared!" Edward said

"Then prove it" Emmett said

"Fine!"

"And now Bella?" Alice said "Edward is in, you shouldn't be left out, we are all doing this, so please, please, please?" she gave me a puppy dog face.

"Fine" I grumbled.

"Then let the contest begin…NOW!" Emmett bellowed. People turned to look at us again. "Sorry" Emmett mumbled.

**NOTE: I will try and get the next chapter in, I was thinking it would be from different POV's and goes throughout the Cullen's contest. BTW, I'm trying to decide who win's and who loses, if you have suggestions, please review to let me know. Thanks! **


	3. Invites and Fart Machines

**DISCLAIMER: THE USUAL. I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

_**Invites and Fart Machines**_

When the lunch bell rang, I got up to go to English, only to be approached by a messy haired guy with freckles. If he was going to ask me to the dance, it would be one for me.

"Hello, my name is Thomas Dinkle, and I'm a thief, I'm here to steal your heart. Just call me Tom, phone number 342-5534, I'm a senior here." He flashed a smile with corn colored teeth. "You seen like my type of girl, you're pretty, and we should go to the dance together."

"I'm sorry, but I'm already going with somebody"

"Who?"

"My boyfriend"

"I'll find him and give him a piece of me" He walked off and began asking boys if they were dating me. I laughed at the fact that Edward would actually rip him apart, there's a piece of him.

The English room was located in building three, third door on the second floor. It wsa the only door in the building that was made out of glass, and you could see into it. A "Hello, my name is…" nametag was stuck to the door, and the teacher's name was written on there in blue crayon. Sue Yu. I opened the door. The teacher was a young Asian lady wearing a floor length skirt and a tight shirt. She had extremely long hair down to her butt, and her classroom looked like kindergarten. Instead of desks, there were tables with a basket of crayons, pencils, and glue in the middle of each. There were cheesy posters hung around the room, and a big jar in the back with candy in it. I found the teacher.

"Hello, I'm Bella Hale, I'm new"

"Hello, I'm Mrs. Yu" She said with an Asian accent "I'll have you introduce yourself to the class" She reached into a drawer and pulled out a long strip of paper and wrote my name on it. She then grabbed a piece of tape and went over to stick it to an empty space at a table. "You will sit here" she said.

RING! The bell rang and all the students had come in. And I began to introduce myself. "I'm Bella Hale, I moved here form Virginia with my family. My sister's are Alice and Rosalie, and my brothers are Jasper, Edward, and Emmett. Alice, Edward, and Emmett are the Cullen's, and Rosalie, Jasper and I are the Hales. My father is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and my mother is Esme. All of us are adopted into the family."

"Oh, that's very good! Notice how she used correct grammar!" The teacher said. I sat down in my seat. There were three other people at my table. First, Thomas Dickle, second, Jay Walker, and third, a blue eyed, black haired girl. The hair was obviously dyed to be black.

"Hey, sup!" Jay said to me "Have you changed your mind about going out? Would you like to go to the dance with me?" I counted two. Two boys had asked me to go to the dance

"Oh, so you asked her" Tom said "Well so did I, and guess what? I'm going to find her boyfriend and give him a big piece of me!"

"Oh yeah? What makes you think she'll want to go with you?" Jay argued

"Because I'm number 132 on the hot list, and you're number 133!" Tom said

The black haired girl spoke "Boys are so immature sometimes. I'm Gloria, I moved here last year, so I know what it's like being the new girl. Except boys didn't argue over me."

"Nice to meet you Gloria"

Mrs. Yu told the class to settle down and handed us each a piece of super wide lined notebook paper.

"Mrs. Yu treats us like kindergarteners" Gloria whispered "She studied education, but for young children, so she never learned how to teach high school"

Mrs. Yu finished passing out the lined paper, and told us each to grab a pencil from the basket. I reached in and pulled out the first one I saw. It was baby blue with pictures of butterflies on it.

"I want all of you to write down when 'a' is used and when 'an' is used" she said

"Isn't this elementary school stuff?" I asked Gloria

"She doesn't know how to teach high schoolers" she replied.

I wrote down when the two words were used and set my pencil down and waited for everybody else to finish. Mrs. Yu noticed that I was done and came over with the jar of candy.

"Ms. Hale, you finish first, I give you candy"

"No thanks, I don't like candy" I told her. Gloria's eyes got big

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure I don't want candy"

"Such strange children" Mrs. Yu said as she walked away.

"You don't like candy?" Gloria whispered to me

"It doesn't taste good"

"Not any kind?"

"None"

Gloria shook her head and chuckled. She was nice, kind of like Angela, only they looked different. Gloria was pretty in a human way. She didn't have immortal beauty, but she was still the kind that boy's would fawn over.

The bell signaled the end of the class, and Gloria waved goodbye to me. I waved back. I made a human friend on my first day, not bad.

There was a separate building for music. In there was a band room, and orchestra room, a choir room, and a general music room. I didn't take band, orchestra, or choir, so I was stuck in general music. All grades were crammed in there, and Emmett was in my class.

"Hey, little sister, looks like we're in this together!" Emmett said. He grabbed me for a tight hug, where if I was human, all my bones would've been shattered. Emmett whispered to me "I did a little thing to the music teacher's chair, you'll see what I mean, it's funny." I just shook my head. Emmett was so immature sometimes. I sat down in one of the chairs, I didn't really care which one, I just plopped myself down. The music teacher's name was May Arnold. That wasn't as weird a name as most teacher's I've met so far. She didn't make me or Emmett introduce ourselves, that was a first.

"Today we're going to talk about our school play today!" She said "After careful consideration, we've selected the best play written by students, and we are requiring all of you to audition." She sat down and a big fart noise sounded from under her. The class laughed.

"I did not just let out a fart!" she said. "Don't laugh! It's not polite!" she got up to smooth her skirt, then sat down again, only to hear another fart. I bit my lip to prevent from laughing.

"See what I mean?" Emmett whispered in a low voice

"What did you do?"

"I used a farting machine. If fits right onto the bottom of a chair" He laughed out loud and Mrs. Arnold glared at him. She looked at her chair, but couldn't find anything that would make the noise. She sat down again, then the fart noise sounded again. This time the class laughed loudly.

"ENOUGH!" Mrs. Arnold yelled "I AM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS PLAY AND YOU WILL LISTEN!" She said. She took a deep breath, then continued "The play is called 'Messenger Ladies' written by one of our prized students here. It is a love story between a boy and a girl. The girl is part of a group of girls who call themselves the messengers, and one boy falls in love with one of the girls. The other girls are strongly against this relationship, but the girl, whose name is Jess, will go to all obstacles to be with her love" Mrs. Arnold sighed. "Such a beautiful story. Auditions are tomorrow morning. You'll miss your morning classes to come and audition." She said. "For the rest of the class we'll be doing beats on drums, go now, find a drum!"

"Hey you" somebody said to me "Want to go to the dance with me?" A shaggy haired skater dude asked. "I'll promise a good time" Three for me.

"Sorry um…."

"Matt"

"Sorry Matt, but I have a boyfriend."

"No prob, just give him the break up letter and come to papa"

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do that"

Matt walked off, a bit sad.

After doing beats on a drum for the hour, the last period came and I hurried over to building two, eager to be with Edward. He was standing in the doorway, waiting for me.

"Hello" I said

"Hello love" He replied "I trust that your afternoon was good?"

"Very interesting" I told him "One boy who asked me to the dance is going to beat you up, another wants me to break up with you, and another got into an argument with the first one over me" I told him "What about you?"

"A few girls came up, I said no, end of my story. It's not as interesting as yours though" He grabbed my hand and led me to the biology classroom; the last door on the first floor. He held the door open for me. I stepped into the classroom. The first thing I noticed was how similar it was to the classroom when I went to this school for the first time. The desks were in the same place, the chalkboard in the same place, the same colored chairs, and the same types of plants.

"You must be the new kids" a teacher asked in a voice that reminded me of popped corn and helium. "I'm Mr. Lips, and I'm your biology teacher. You can sit over there" He pointed me to a desk by a buzz cut head boy. "And you over there" He said to Edward. Edward was sitting alone.

"Mr. Lips, I would rather sit with Bella" Edward said "We usually sit together, so I don't want to sit alone" He said to Mr. Lips.

"If it makes things easier" Mr. Lips said "Sure Bella, go sit with Edward."

"Thanks" I said to him "I don't want to sit with that guy, he has a tattoo of a fish on his arm."

"I wouldn't want you sitting with him" Edward said "He might try to steal you." I looked around and saw Tom in my class. He was staring at Edward with intensity.

"That's the guy who wants to beat you up" I said to Edward, pointing slightly to Tom. Tom waved to me. Before I could say anymore, Mr. Lips had started class and I couldn't say anymore. I took out a piece of paper and began writing.

What is he thinking? The guy who wants to beat you up?

**He is thinking weather he should tell me that you don't want me anymore, punching me—which wouldn't be a good idea, or yelling at me. **

How many girls asked you to the dance?

**Five girls. You?**

No girls, and three guy

**Ah**

You have more than me

**That isn't a good thing**

But having less isn't good either

**I know what you mean. I like your shirt**

Thanks, yours is nice too, did Alice buy it?

**Yes she did, you know how she gets**

Yeah I know, stupid Alice and her shopping sprees

**You're cute when you're irritated**

Ha

**I'm not joking**

You say that I'm cute a lot

**Because you are cute**

That's sweet

Before we could write anymore. Edward stuffed the note into his pocket. Ah, the teacher was coming. He looked at us, frowned, then walked back to the front of the room.

When class ended, we left the room. Suddenly, somebody grabbed me around my waist, I thought it was Edward, but then I noticed that the arms were warm. I had to get away before that person noticed my hardness and cold body. I turned and found Tom with his arms around me. I was glad he was wearing a sweater. I tried to be gentle in order not to hurt him, but that made it impossible to get away

'"Hey beautiful" He said "Is that your boyfriend?"

"Get your arms off of her!" Edward said, glaring at Tom

"I don't think I will." Tom said "What if she wants me?"

"I don't!" I yelled "Let me go"

"Oh, not so fast pretty girl" Tom said "Tell me you'll go to the dance with me"

"No!" I said.

"Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Of. My. Girlfriend" Edward said. His fists clenched tight.

"Okay, okay" Tom said, backing up.

Edward grabbed me and pulled me out of the building before Tom could catch up. II

****Hey peeps, this chapter was my longest one, and I like long chapters, so yeah. Please review, I like good reviews, they make me eager to continue this story. See you all, and thanks for those that put this story on their favorites! TTFN****


	4. Auditions and Blackmail

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**Enjoy Chapter 4**

_**Auditions and Blackmail**_

"BELLA!" Alice yelled. I made my way to her room, where she had clothes all over her bed. "Bella! I want you to look good for the audition today! Who knows? You might get the lead part!" She was running around the room, grabbing a shirt or pants every now and then. Soon, I had a pile of clothing in my arms. "Bella! Let's try these!" She rushed me into her giant bathroom, where she had mannequins laid out everywhere—in my body shape.

"Alice, where did you get these?"

"Well, I thought instead of having you try them on, I could put them on here, so your hair wouldn't get messed up. Oh, that reminds me! Rosalie!" She called.

Rosalie entered the room and Alice began to put outfits on mannequins at vampire speed. Rosalie was curling my hair, also at vampire speed. When Alice was done, Rosalie was done.

"So, pick an outfit1" Alice said. I scanned them quickly. I didn't want to have to wear any of it. I wanted to wear sweatpants and a tee-shirt, but Alice would kill me again for doing that, so I randomly pointed to one. Alice took it off the mannequin and handed it to me. I quickly got dressed and looked at what I was wearing. Knee length shorts, a blue V-neck, and a lacy camisole.

"I love it!" Alice said. "I think it is perfect1" She picked me up and brought me down the giant staircase, where she set me down in the kitchen. Jacob was eating an omelet, and Edward was force feeding Renesme cereal.

"Dad, I hate human food1" she said

"You have to eat, honey" Edward said

"Ugh" She grabbed a handful of cereal and shoved it down her mouth. Edward was reading the paper. He was excited because they had finally found a way to make cars fly, and he wanted to buy one. I shuddered at the thought of sitting in the air in a car.

When the time came, we all piled into the same cars as yesterday and drove off to school at 102 mph.

When we got to school I braced myself to a day just as crazy as yesterday. I got out of the car and grabbed my backpack, and escorted by Edward, we walked to the newly added auditorium. Edward was giving boys the "Death glare" if they got five feet close to me or closer. He gave an especially nasty one to Tom. We sat at the back of the auditorium where nobody could gawk at us. Although we were far from the stage, we could hear and see everything perfectly clearly. Mrs. Arnold came to the stage with a microphone and began to speak

"Welcome the to the auditions for our school play, to be put on by students in general music. I see that there are only forty students in general music, so we will need all of you to do something. You can not chose what you do, that is up to me, and once my mind is made up, nothing can change it. You'll be auditioning in groups based on your last names. So would students with last names that begin with A-F come up to the stage." Twelve students, with 25% of them being a Cullen headed up to the stage. Mrs. Arnold snapped her fingers and a cart rolled itself to her with a huge stack of papers.

"Your scripts" Mrs. Arnold said. Each person picked up a booklet from the stack and Mrs. Arnold had everybody turn to page one. I sighed and drifted off to a world where I often went when I daydreamed.

My human memories. I feel like they never happened, but I kept thinking about them, so I could remember. I didn't want to forget any moment of me and Edward together. I played a videotape of our moments in my head.

I remembered the first time I saw Edward, and the first time we spoke. I remembered the first day in biology when he almost killed me, and our first kiss. The first trip to the meadow, the moment he saved me from James in the ballet studio. I refused to think about the times when he left me. Instead, I skipped that part of my human life, and skipped to the part when I agreed to marry him, and the time he saved me from Victoria. Our wedding, and our moments on Esme's Island. My first day as a vampire, the first hunt, our first night at the cottage, and the day the Volturi came.

Before I knew it, the auditions for the first group were done, and Mrs. Arnold called out the next group. "All students with last names G-L please come."

Jasper, Rosalie, and I got up, and followed ten other students to the stage, where we each picked up a script.

"Turn to page one" Mrs. Arnold said. On page one was a scenario, it read: Imagine that you are all students in a punishment chamber, and you are in love with the teacher though, so you try to be good.

"Act it out!" Mrs. Arnold said.

We all sat on the floor and began to look bored and pained. But looking at Mrs. Arnold with sparkling eyes. Blech! This was a nasty scenario, who would be in love with a teacher?

"Do scenario two! You, you are the cashier, you, you are the customer, and you are the cook, act it out!" I was the chef. I read the scenario.

A busy customer walks into a fast food place to a loopy cashier and chef. He wants to order something, but the dumbness of the employees are making it hard for him.

"GO!" Mrs. Arnold yelled. Wow, she was a cranky lady.

"Hurry, I have a meeting, one big mac!" The customer said

"Wait, I have a big what?" The cashier said

"I said, I want a big mac1"

"You want a big mac? I'm sorry, Mac is on his break"

"No, I want food! My meeting is in thirty minutes, I can't be late! Just cook me up a burger and I'll zoom out of here1"

"Oh, a big mac! What would you like to drink with that?"

"Diet Pepsi"

"No!" I yelled

"Why?" The customer turned to me

"Er, those two don't work together. Too much brown. Brown meat, brown water, brown bun, I mean, then when it comes out it's also brown" I said

"Fine, I'll have sprite! Chop chop!"

"One big mac!" The cashier called to me

"Would you like that cooked?" I called back

"STOP!" Mrs. Arnold yelled. "Next group" I walked to the back of the stage and sat down on the wood floor. That was actually kind of fun, maybe I would get a part in the play. I lifted my shield out of my mind and spoke to Edward

_Was I good?_

He nodded from the back and I smiled. I put my shield back in and waited for my group to finish.

When the auditions were over, Mrs. Arnold already had the final casting sheet done. Wow, for a cranky lady, she worked fast.

"The two leads are Bella Swan and Thomas Dinkle for the role of the two lovers." My jaw fell to the floor. I had to pretend to be in love with _him?_ I looked at Tom. He was smiled at me and wagged his eyebrows. For some reason, I felt queasy. I hope I didn't have to kiss him. I flipped through my script. And there, on page 25, was a kiss for me and Tom. "For the role of the other girls, Alice Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Tiffany Newton. For the role of the other parts. Edward Cullen will be the mailman, Emmett Italian painter, Jasper will be thee pizza man, Jay Walker will be the chef…" she continued to list off roles, but I stopped listening. I had to kiss Tom. "You can go to lunch now" Mrs. Arnold said.

"I have to kiss Tom" I yelled at Edward

"WHAT?"

"I know!" I said

"I will not allow this!" Edward said "I'm going to speak with Mrs. Arnold!" He rushed back into the auditorium, and came out a minute later looking very depressed.

"I couldn't change her mind" he said. I sighed "Well that's life" I told him. "Maybe I'll just be really bad a rehearsals and get kicked out." I suggested

"Won't work, she'll just send you to an acting class" Edward said

"Hey Bella, I can't wait for our kiss!" Tom called. Edward snarled and wrapped his arm around me. I groaned "I can't do this, why didn't I just take choir?"

"I'm thinking the same thing" Edward said.

We got our lunch and sat down at our table

"So, how many people!" Emmett asked "I got asked to the dance by six girls and disgustingly, a guy asked me" Emmett shuddered, not something you usually see.

"Five girls" Edward said "All of them scare me with their thoughts."

"I have ten guys" Rosalie said "And two girls" I cringed. More people in this school weren't straight than I thought

"Three guys" Alice said

"Four" Jasper said

"What about you, Bella?" Emmett asked "Or do you have zero?"

"I have three" I told him "Same as Alice"

"Ooh, a tie, well we have until Friday to get this done, it's only Tuesday! And I will not have to destroy property of Carlisle and Esme, or hit on a teacher!" He shoved a piece of chocolate into his mouth, then spat it out. "That was stupid."

Suddenly, and announcement came onto the loudspeaker. "Attention boy's and girls, I've been blackmailed into having a lock-in tonight, so yeah, it begins at six. This has been Vice-Principal Ding, Adios! Oh, and I want to see all of you there or else you get a in big trouble, so if you have any plans, cancel them. Oh, and if you don't come you have to pay a fine, and yeah. Bye students, I'll see you at the lock in!" The cafeteria broke into cheers and Emmett screamed "YES!"

"Emmett, don't tell me that you were the blackmailer" Rosalie said

"Well, I thought I would be fun to spend a night in this school" Emmett said

Rosalie just shook her head.

"It'll be fun!" Alice said "I can try out some of the new pajamas that I bought!"

"Enough about the lock-in, Emmett, how can I get Mrs. Arnold to cancel the play? I am not kissing Tom!"

Emmett smiled a devious grin "Leave that up to Mr. Emmett and his partner in crime, the lovely Rosalie Hale!" Emmett's grin became evil

"Emmett, don't blackmail her" I said. Emmett was still smiling, only with less evil now.

It was after lunch that I heard. Tom was talking with Jay

"So you grab Rosalie and I'll grab Bella, then we lock them in the closet with us?" Tom whispered

"Right on"

I suddenly felt that I wouldn't have a good time at the lock-in.


	5. Lockin and Spin The Bottle

**I DISCLAIM THE CHARACTERS, EXCEPT FOR TOM, JAY, AND VICE-PRINICIPAL DING, AND ALL THE OTHER PATHETIC HUMANS. **

**ENJOY CHAPTER 5, I ENJOYED WRITING IT!**

_**Lock-in and Spin the Bottle**_

I was in a bad mood on the ride home. Lock me and Rosalie in a closet with two obnoxious high school boys? Pure torture.

"Help" I said to Edward

"What's wrong?" He asked

"Tom and Jay are going to lock me and Rosalie in a closet with them tonight" I told him. What happened next was completely unexpected. Edward laughed. He laughed hard, he laughed one of those stomach hurting laughs.

"What's so funny?" I asked

"Ha! They think they can do that! You won't be leaving my side tonight! Ha! Losers!" I shook my head and chuckled. As soon as we got to the white mansion, Edward ran to tell what was going to happen to Emmett. There was an earsplitting crash and then somebody swore. Emmett, I think. Emmett stomped through the door, fury in his eyes. He scooped up Rose and carried her upstairs.

"What did he break?" I asked

"He made a hole in the garage door." Edward told me. "Come on, let's get packed to go to this stupid lock in." He said. He picked me up bridal style and carried me to our room.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking, you know" I told him

"I know, but it's more fun this way" He replied. Alice helped me pack my bag. She stuffed unnecessary items into my bag, like a toothbrush, and toothpaste. She stuffed in a set of pajamas—I didn't even want to look at those—as well as a hairbrush, and she handed me a sleeping bag with a built in heater, and a pillow. I wouldn't be using any of these items other than the pajamas.

Edward drove me to the school that night. Alice and Jasper were using a different car.

"Excited?" Edward asked me

"Not really" I said "Are you sure you'll keep Tom away from me?"

"I promise."

We pulled into the parking lot, and Edward opened my door for me. I grabbed my stuff and carried it into the school, where teacher's were directing students to the gym, that would be where we would sleep. Some people were complaining about sleeping on hardwood floors, but the teacher's assured them that there were mats placed everywhere. I laid my sleeping bag in a corner next to Alice's and Rosalie's. Edward was at my foot. Once everybody was in the gym, Vice-Principal Ding went to the center of the room with a microphone and began to speak.

"Let's settle down and listen to my announcements. Unfortunately, the school play has been canceled. Mrs. Arnold refuses to tell me why, but I'll forget about it" I glanced at Emmett, who was smirking. "I also am here to tell you about our people auction. You can vote for the person you want to go on a date with, then we'll select the top male, and top female, and auction them off to you all for a date. We also have to tell you about school spirit week. Starting tomorrow, you will dress according to the day. Tomorrow, Wednesday, will be pajama day, since you all are at school in your pajamas. On Thursday, it's costume day, and on Friday, it's dress-up day. So girls and boys, dress formally on Friday, and then the dance is also on Friday. Er, I'll leave you all to your childish games and such. Will Isabella Swan please follow me?"

I groaned "No" Edward said. "Don't go, god, who knows what he is going to do to you"

"Sorry Edward, but I have to, don't worry, I'll scream if anything bad happens" I told him. I kissed him on the cheek, then went over to Mr. Bill Ding.

"Isabella, have you accepted my offer?" He asked "A nice date tonight in my office? I brought food and candles"

"Er, no thanks, I'm not hungry" I said

"Not hungry?" He asked

"Right, I ate before I came" I replied. He sniffed the air then came closer to me, and sniffed again

"My Isabella, you smell great, where did you get this perfume?"

"It's homemade" I lied "I don't know the recipe though" I said. The Vice-Principal put his arm around me and steered me to his office.

"How about I take you to the dance on Friday?" He asked. That's four invites for me.

"No, I'm already going with my boyfriend"

"So you are still with him?" He asked

"We're closer than you think"

He held open his office door and I walked in.

"Have a seat Isabella" He told me. I reluctantly sat down on the chair in front of his desk. I noticed that his desk was cleared and instead, there were tall candles, and a table set for two. Behind him, there was a small table with a plate full of food. He held it up to me. "Crab cake?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Isabella…"

"Call me Bella please" I told him

"Bella, I want to know you better. I have never felt this way about a student before. It's amazing. We belong together. I know you are so young, but give a chance." I couldn't help but scoff at what he said. Young, I was old enough for to be his grandfather. "What?" He asked

"It's nothing" I told him. He handed me another piece of paper, this time, it read

_**Dear Isabella,**_

_**Love happens to all of us, we find it. I am in love with you, yet I barely know you. I want to get to know you better. I want to take you to this great French restaurant and talk over dinner. I live at: 18 Holden Lane, come over Saturday at six, and I'll have dinner ready if you don't prefer the restaurant. I just bought the new sound system, you know, the one that sends colored lights all over your house depending on the music. I have a romantic mix made just for nights like us. RSVP Tomorrow, I'll be waiting in the office.**_

_**Love, Bill Ding**_

"Am I excused?" I asked

"Enjoy your night" He said. I hurried out of his office. I felt somebody grab me from behind and stuff a napkin in my mouth. Tom. I tried to struggle away gently, afraid to hurt the human, but Tom was stronger than I thought. He picked me up and ran towards the school, where he stopped in front of a supply closet. He set me down, with one arm securely around me to prevent me from running away. With his other hand, he opened the door, and pulled me in, where Rosalie and Jay were sitting. Rosalie kept sliding away from Jay, but he just scooted closer each time.

"We're here1" Tom called. He shut the door and locked it—with a metal chain. How old fashioned.

"Alright girls, let's have a good time tonight" Tom said. "I'm sorry if the darkness makes it hard for you to see, I'll fix it soon enough." Tom was wrong, I could see perfectly well in the darkness, but Tom and Jay didn't know that. They took the opportunity to each swallow a mint, quickly wipe their mouths, apply lip softener, smooth their clothes, and fix their hair.

"Send Edward thoughts for help in your mind" I whispered very quietly to Rosalie. She nodded. Tom flicked something, and a dim golden glow lit the room.

"Ladies, you are in for a lucky night" Jay said. He scooted towards Rosalie, and leaned forward to kiss her. Luckily, it was a big closet, so she got up and ran around, with Jay chasing her. I noticed Tom leaning towards me, his puckered, his eyes closed. I took the opportunity to get up and run to the other side of the closet.

"Your girl's getting away!" Jay yelled. Tom's eyes snapped open and followed me. Soon, he had me cornered in a wall. I did the only thing I could think of, I made my shield cover me, perhaps he couldn't get past. It didn't work, he set his lips on mine and I struggled to get free, hoping that I wouldn't break anything. I didn't want to have to leave Forks. His hands caught my face and he gasped

"Holy Crow, you're cold!" He said

"Er, yeah, I get very hard and cold when I'm uncomfortable." I lied. He shrugged and put his lips to mine again. I tried to break free again, with no success. I opened my eyes, and saw Jay doing the same thing to Rosalie as Tom was doing to me. Tom pushed me to the floor, and I strained to get free from him. I can't break any of his bones. Then I remembered what Edward told me. Scream for help. Why couldn't he hear Rosalie's thoughts and get over here? Were we too far for him to hear? Or did he not know which closet we were in? I let out a scream as Tom began to slide his hands under my shirt. I shoved him lightly.

"EW!" I yelled "What are you doing?"

"What I've been dreaming of doing" He replied. He grabbed my wrists with one hand and his other one began to extend to my chest. NO! I used a bit more force than I did with him and I broke my wrists free.

"Ow, woman, you're fierce" He pushed me to the wall, but I didn't buldge, he wasn't going to do anything to me. He gave up on the pushing and began to inch his hands towards my chest again. I swatted them away and looked a Rosalie. She was busy yelling at Jay to keep his hands to himself

"YOU OBNOXIOUS BOY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" Wow, Rosalie was being really harsh. "YOU NEED THERAPY, MAY I SUGGEST A DOCTOR? HOW ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND? HE CAN FIX YOU UP BY BREAKING YOUR NECK!" I had to admit, Rose could be very threatening. Suddenly, I noticed that my shirt wasn't on me anymore. Crap, I wasn't paying attention and Tom had removed my shirt, he was reaching for my chest again. I screamed and ran, while Tom chased me with my shirt in his hands

"Give me my shirt!" I yelled "Why did you take it off?!"

"I'll give it to you if you stop running and kiss me!"

"NO!" I screamed

Suddenly, I heard a crash and light flooded the room. I turned to the door. It was knocked down with Edward and Emmett standing there, their eyes both darker than usual and glaring murderously at Tom and Jay, who both gulped

"Get your hands off our girls" They both said at the same time. Tom and Jay both stepped away from us and into corners.

"If you ever, ever touch my girlfriend ever again. You can forget about ever seeing another woman" Edward said. Emmett wasn't talking. He was holding Jay upside-down in the air.

Then Edward turned to me and saw me shirtless. "Bella?" He asked

"Tom removed my shirt" I told him quietly "I got distracted and he took it off." Edward lunged at Tom. I grabbed him midair before anything could happen

"Don't hurt anybody" I told him. He nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'm warning you, Dinkle" He said to Tom. "Now, give my girlfriend her shirt back." Tom dropped the shirt, and Edward picked it up and handed it to me. I slipped it on and Edward pulled me out from the closet. Emmett stopped torturing Jay and was walking with Rosalie. We all headed back to the gym, acting like nothing happened

"Are you okay?" Edward asked

"I'm fine, just a bit shocked and angry" I told him "Tom is a jerk"

"I agree" He said "If he lays another hand on you, he'll be begging for mercy" He said, his voice sharp and icy.

When we entered the gym, I saw a large group of students sitting in a circle.

"Bella! Edward! Emmett! Rosalie! Glad you could come!" Tiffany said "We're playing spin the bottle, sit down in the circle." I looked and found Jasper and Alice sitting across from each other, both my frustrated expressions. Jasper kept eyeing Alice. Probably mad about the whole thing. I felt sorry for whoever was going to kiss Alice, Jasper would probably rip their head off.

"How did Alice and Jasper get forced to play?" I asked Edward

"Tiffany is good at blackmail" Edward told me.

"SIT DOWN!" Tiffany yelled. I took a seat across from Edward reluctantly. Spin the bottle, ugh. Kissing humans was painful, it burned my throat enormously to be so close in that way.

"YAY!" Tiffany said, "now let's play!"

She spun a empty blueberry juice bottle and sat back to see the results.

The bottle spinned around, and around, and around…

****He he, I enjoyed writing this Chapter a lot. In the next chapter, the students will play spin-the-bottle and another very famous game. I'll update when I can! Thanks for all the great reviews and those who added this to their favorites, I can't thank you enough. I'll be updating less often soon, because school starts up again next week (ugh) and I also have basketball practice after school.****


	6. Kisses and Pie

**REMINDER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING**

**I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner, school started up again, and well, it's pretty much self explanatory. This chapter won't be as long as the other chapters. Sorry about that. Well anyway, I have a new story, it's about how I wanted Breaking Dawn to go. I'm only two chapters into it. So far all that's happened is that Alice dragged Bella to Vegas and the boys follow them, and they plot against the boys. Yeah. So, enjoy chapter six. **

_**Kisses and Pie**_

The bottle spun around and around, and around, until it got slower, and slower, and slower, before settling to a stop. We looked towards the two people it was pointing towards. Jay and Tiffany. I let out a deep breath. Not me.

"We start with three second kisses" Tiffany said, then we'll move on to longer and more complicated stuff. Tiffany and Jay crawled towards each other, before smacking their lips together. We counted

"One, two, three" Then they broke apart. Jay grinned like he won the lotto, and Tiffany wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. "NEXT!" She called

The bottle began to spin again. I watched it go around and around, before settling to a spot pointing to Jasper and Rosalie. Alice and Emmett both looked with open mouths.

"I guess it's a game" Alice muttered. Then shot Rosalie a glare that said "Don't try anything". Emmett put his head in his hands and kept it there while Jasper and Rosalie walked slowly towards each other, before going into an unwanted kiss.

"One, two, three" We counted. They broke apart quickly and went back to their seats.

"Spin again!" Tiffany said. The bottle was spun again, and I crossed my fingers in hope that it wouldn't land on me. It stopped, pointing to me and Edward. Oh, how nice.

"Crap!" Tiffany said. Then quickly covered her mouth.

"Why?" I asked nicely

"Well, um…" she started. "This is the round where we do the whole seven minutes in heaven thingy." She stated.

"No problem." I said.

"B-but, if you two don't want to…" she said

"I'm fine with it" I told her. "Show us the way"

Tiffany got up and walked over to a small door on one side of the gym.

"In here" she said, forcing a smile on her face. She wasn't very happy about Edward being my partner. I stepped in and took a seat on a cushion. I patted the area next to me. Edward sat down and we waved to Tiffany, who closed the door.

Seven minutes later **(sorry about not writing about what happens in the closet. I'm not good at writing stuff like that, and it's not really that important. Just imagine it how you wanted it to go)** we came out of the closet, to a group of people sitting there with bored expressions.

"Finally" Emmett said "What were you kids doing in there?" he said with a grin "Did you have fun? It sure looked like you did"

I looked at him with the most livid expression I could conjure up. "Shut up Emmett" and what did he mean by it looked like we had a good time? I looked at Edward and saw. His hair was messed up, his shirt wrinkled, and his eyes glowing. Well that answers my question.

"What's going on in here" somebody asked. Oh snap, Vice-principal Ding walked in on a game of spin the bottle.

"Uh, truth or dare?" Tom said

"Oh, I see…" he said "Well then, carry on, and let me remind you, everybody has to change into their pajamas now, so do that and then carry on with your childish games. After that, there's hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, and pie in the cafeteria." Everybody cheered for the food and scurried off to change in the locker rooms.

"Should we go to get food?" I asked

"Well, I think we should, you know, keep up the human charade" Edward replied

"I bet I can eat more pie than you can Jasper" Emmett said

"I bet you can" He replied

"Ha, loser!" Emmett called to him

"I'm not a loser!" Jasper said

"Oh right. You can swallow a peanut without help!" That comment made Jasper mad. He growled turned to Emmett. "I can very well take on a eating contest. I might not enjoy the food, but I will swallow more than you!"

"It's on" Emmett said. This could not turn out good.

I went to the locker room and quickly changed into the pajamas Alice packed me **(picture of it an other outfits from this story and my other stories on profile)**

I walked to the cafeteria, where people were chatting in their PJ's eating disgusting human food.

"Want some food?" Jay asked

"No thanks, I'm not hungry" I told him

"You never eat, it's so strange" He said

"School food is unhealthy" He pondered this for a moment, the shrugged and went back to eating his pizza.

"Hello love" I heard. I turned around and saw Edward standing behind me. Wearing a skin tight shirt and pajama bottoms. Girls were gawking at him. Curse Alice for making him wear something so tight. It was not as bad as Emmett, I suppose. His shirt was way to small and he was wearing short shorts. Girls were getting woozy from looking at him.

"Hi" I replied

"Emmett and Jasper are about to have their eating contest. Apparently, they got some humans to join on. Want to watch?"

I nodded, and followed him to where Emmett, Jasper, Tom, Jay, and a few other boys were sitting with piles of pie in front of them

"Ready, go!" Alice called. Of course she already knew who would win. I watched at Emmett grabbed a slice of pie and put the whole thing in his mouth. He grimaced, then swallowed without chewing. Jasper way eyeing the apples and was poking at them, shuddering when he made contact with them. He closed his eyes and took a bite out of his slice. He must be very uncomfortable. Edward was laughing along with Alice. Rosalie was muttering something about her stupid idiotic husband.

A few minutes later, Jasper got up and ran slightly faster than a human should to the bathroom. I could hear him puking from here and laughed. Tom got out next. He didn't make it to the bathroom in time and ended up leaving a pile of barf on Tiffany's pajama bottoms.

"EW!" she screeched "You jerk! These are new!" she said, slapping him. I laughed even harder at that.

Emmett got out next. He also ran into the bathroom Jasper disappeared into. Well, at least he won the contest.

"Why did I marry him?" Rosalie muttered.

Eventually, the contest ended with Jay declared the winner. His prize: bragging rights and a 20 dollar gift certificate to the local pie shop. I doubt he would go there for a while after what just happened.

"Did Jasper and Emmett make a bet of any sort over this?" I asked Alice

"Yeah, loser has to do one thing that the winner makes them do." She said. "I can see what Emmett is going to make Jasper do."

Emmett and Jasper came out of the bathroom, both looking much better.

"Here" Alice said, handing both of them a bottle. I could smell deer blood inside. The quickly drank the bottles. Alice must've seen this coming, or else she wouldn't have packed those. I looked at the clock. It was only 7:30. The night was young. What more could happen?

**Yeah, so this chapter is short. Sorry about that. TTFN  
**


	7. Spirit and Auctions

**THANK YOU SO, SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIES AND FAVORITES AND ALERTS. IT MADE MY DAY! ENJOY CHAPTER SEVEN**

_**Spirit and Auctions**_

The lock-in was over, done, gone, lost its existence. Day one of the school spirit week had passed. Pajama day was okay, I guess. Everybody was in school in their pajamas all day, which was pretty comfortable. Emmett packed an extra pair of pajamas in his duffel bag when we came, and they caused quite a disruption. Apparently, the extra pajamas he bought were skin tight, and showed off all his muscles. His pants—well lets just say that they looked like underwear and I'm sure they violated at least sixteen dress codes.

The next day was costume day, and Alice made our costumes. That day, we were allowed to bring our parents to school for them to 'experience high school since back in the day'. Back in the day for Carlisle was before the Enlightenment! Alice also got to dress up Carlisle and Esme to bring them to school. Edward hated bringing Carlisle to school because girls always undressed him in their minds. My costume was an angel, and it looked pretty good. I wore a floor length white dress and wings with a gold headband. Rosalie was a French maid, she wouldn't let Alice pick her outfit. Alice was a fairy, and it suited her well. Esme went as a nurse, much to Carlisle's enjoyment.

Apparently, the boys must've done something to anger Alice, because their costumes were downright embarrassing. Carlisle was dressed as a vampire slayer, Emmett was a potato, Edward was 'Thing 1' and Jasper was 'Thing 2'. Jacob and Renesmee were at home, they were going on a second honeymoon soon, and refused to go to school in hideous costumes as they put it. At school today, we were supposed to have the people auction, since yesterday the school put names in a box saying who they wanted to date. It at least one Cullen wasn't on the list, I'd be surprised.

"Hey Bella" I heard Tom say when I got to school. Ugh, did he not listen to Edward's warning during the lock-in?

"Tom, if you value your life, you would go away" I responded "You have ten seconds before Edward comes over here to beat you up"

"Aw, don't be that way" He said

"Eight" I said, holding up my fingers, and counting down in my head

"How much damage can he do?' Tom asked. I suppressed the urge to laugh at that. Edward could do more damage than a machine gun

"Five" I warned

"You have a date to the dance tomorrow?" He asked. It was Mike Newton all over again, he just didn't get it.

"Three" I said

"C'mon answer me" he pleaded

"Two" I was close to one by now, and I had two fingers in the air

"Yes or no?" He asked

"One" I said "EDWARD!" I screamed. In about three seconds, he was over here, inspecting me, making sure I was okay. I sighed. I was a vampire, I didn't get hurt that easily. Edward would just never get used to that it seems. I pointed to Tom.

"You again" Edward growled "I told you to stay away from my girlfriend" He glared murderously at Tom, who backed up and tripped on a rock. He fell down to the ground and mumbled an 'ouch' before running away

"I swear he's going to die someday" Edward said

"How does he make you jealous?" I asked "I mean, I'm yours and you know that, so when people think about me, how does that make you jealous?"

"I don't know" He said "It just does. What if you choose them? You always could, I mean…" I put a finger over his mouth

"I love you" I said. I heard a gagging noise behind me. I turned and saw Emmett fake-vomiting and rolled my eyes. "At least I'm not a fiend" I said

"Oh really?" Emmett asked "Like I am?"

"Yeah, you and Rose can't last 24 hours without each other" I said

"Like you two are any better" Emmett said

"Well at least our relationship isn't purely physical" I argued

"Is this a challenge?" Emmett asked "Then bring it on"

"Fine, we both must last two weeks without our mates" I said "If you crack, you have to cross-dress when you go to school for a week"

"Aw, that's not fun, girls don't look silly in guy clothing. How about loser has to go on a date with one of the repulsive humans?" Emmett asked

"Shut up!" Edward said "Bella, think before you agree to this"

"Sorry, Edward, but this is a chance to beat Emmett at something" I said

"Please don't do this" Rosalie said, coming up to us "We already have another bet going on, and two is just too much to handle"

"Fine, we start right after the dance" I said

"How about the day after the dance" Emmett asked "Rose is going to be too irresistible that night"

"Alright" I said "As for now, how many people asked you to the dance?"

"Eleven" Emmett said "Beat that"

"Fourteen" Rosalie responded

"Ten" I said

"Twelve" Was Edward's response "We have one more day before this contest is over, and then your other bet starts, how about we ditch school and make use of our time…"

"Nope" I said "Don't get your hopes up, I'm practicing right now" Edward groaned and sulked off.

"Hey, I head about the new bet" Alice said, running over "Can me and Jazzy join?"

"Yes! The more the merrier" Emmett exclaimed "And I plan on winning"

"So, where's Edward?" Jasper asked

"Sulking in a corner" Alice said "Bella won't let them ditch school"

"Nice job, Bella" Jasper said "Good practice for the bet"

"Yep" was my response

I just noticed how utterly hilarious Emmett looked, dressed as a potato. He was wearing a large brown oval ball with arm and leg holes, and a face hole. He was wearing brown tights and huge, ugly clogs. I felt bad for him, he would have to face so much humiliation over his potato costume.

"Let's go check out who will be auctioned' Alice said

"As if you don't know" I said

"So? You guys don't" She said

We read the list posted in the corkboard in the office. Girls and guys were gathered around it, trying to see which boy and which girl they were to pick from. I could see who was on it clearly from where I was, and I saw the two names. Isabella Hale and Emmett Cullen. Emmett? Hmm, it must've been his skin-tight pajamas that did the trick. But this meant that I was to be auctioned off to boys like some pig in the market. And worse? Edward wasn't allowed to buy me.

"Alright, Bella, we win!" Emmett said "Give me a high five" He held his hand out, but I swatted it away

"How can you be happy, Emmett?" I asked "This means that you have to hang out with some obnoxious teenage girl for a whole day, and go on a date with them" his face dropped and he sighed.

"Alice, I'm so glad you're not on there, I don't have to worry anymore" Jasper said

"Same here, Jazzy" Alice said. Lucky. Rosalie and Edward were not going to be happy, and an angry Rosalie usually resulted in no good. And an angry Rosalie with Emmett on her side was even worse. A jealous Edward was probably the worst though, he was the most protective, so he would cause the most damage.

The auction started right after lunch, Emmett and I were ushered to backstage in the small auditorium. We had to change out of our costumes. Emmett seemed glad to be Emmett again, not a potato. We were then put into more formal things. Emmett wore a white button down shirt, black dress pants, and leather shoes, I was forced into a dress that went mid-thigh and was sleeveless. Emmett was to be auctioned first.

"Emmett Cullen, staring price, two dollars" Vice-Principal Ding said into his microphone.

"Two!" Somebody called

"Four" Another person yelled

"Fifteen" I heard a very squeaky voiced girl say

"Fifty"

"Fifty-one"

"Seventy"

The auctioning went on for five minutes, before the price got to 143 dollars. When the price got to 200, it was a battle between Tiffany and a girl named Meghan. It went from 200, 203, 254, 253, 256, 298, 300, before Tiffany yelled "ONE-THOUSAND FREAKING DOLLARS!"

"Whoa, one-thousand, do we have anything more than that?' Vice-Principal Ding asked, nobody made a sound "Emmett Cullen going to Tiffany for one-thousand dollars!"

"EEEK!" Tiffany shrieked.

"Next up, Isabella Hale" Vice-Principal Ding said "Starting price, two dollars"

I walked out onto the stage and took a seat in the stool provided for me, and then the betting began. The price went up by two each time, then after it hit the one-hundred mark, began going up by tens, then finally I heard a person yell "Five-thousand", but not from the audience, from the Dingbat himself, Vice-Principal Ding.

"Going once, going twice, sold!" He exclaimed "Now, Isabella, you have to say yes to my date"

Just then Alice gestured me over to her, I held up a finger to tell the Dingbat to wait a few moments, before heading over to Alice

"Okay, so you both don't like who won you, so I have a plan, we're going to mess with them on your dates, okay?" Alice asked

"Yes" Emmett said "My favorite pastime"

"I'm in" I said

"Oh, and guys, we have a new member coming to live with us today, she's a vegetarian, don't' worry." Alice said. A new member? A girl, oh no, what if she tries to steal away Edward?

"Don't worry, you'll like her, she won't try to steal Edward, she's really sweet and down to earth, it'll be fine. We'll all like her" Alice assured us "Now, let's begin to plan operation 'Dingbat Destruction' and 'Tiffin-bomber', we're going to the mall after school, then to our secret lair that Bella never found out about, which contains Edward's gadgets from his James Bond phase"

"I'm so ready" Emmett said. And I was too.

**SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THIS STORY SOONER, BUT I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH STUFF, ANYWAY, PLEASE REVIEW AND I'LL TRY TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT AS SOON AS I CAN**


	8. General Robert E Lee

**This is an undated version of chapter 8, since some of you pointed out my mistake earlier! Thanks for doing that, and this is just updated, no big changes**

**Chapter 8: General Robert E. Lee**

"So, where's the Dingbat taking you?" Alice asked me

"His words were, 'Ah, Bella, la dinner romantica?'" I responded "I think he was trying to speak Italian or something"

"So, did you agree to dinner with him?" Alice asked

"Yeah, it was that or we could go to his house to do who knows what" I said with a shudder.

"So, here's the plan, I'll need you to dress in this" She held up a dress that showed more than it covered. I wanted to gag at it. Did she seriously expect me to wear that thing?

"Alice…" I said

"Nope, no talking, we'll all be there. Emmett and Jasper will be holding Edward back when Dingbat ogles at you, and Rosalie and I will handle the revenge. Then we switch roles. On Emmett's date, you and me hold rose back, while Emmett and Jasper destroy the Tiffin-monster" Alice said "All you need to do is play along"

"Sounds easy enough" I said

"So then get into the dress!" Alice said

I put on the offending dress and slipped on six inch stiletto heels. Good thing I was a vampire, in those as a human, I'd literally be dead. Alice wanted to do my make-up, although I didn't see why vampires would need it. I guess she wanted some color on my cheeks or something. I walked out my room, not even stumbling, considering the shoes that I was wearing. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, and my hips swayed naturally, like most women's did when they wore heels. I knew that I probably wasn't going to fall, but going down the stairs seemed kind of scary.

When I got down, the family was there. Mostly they were wearing black, except Emmett had taken to wearing camouflage clothes. Like that would help.

"Emmett, where are you?" I asked teasingly "I can't see you anywhere. You blend in _so_ well" I said that second part sarcastically

"I told you it wouldn't work" Rosalie said "Now take that hideous thing off"

"No!" Emmett said "These are classic deer hunting pants and this jacket is made for hunting bears"

"I think you hunt pretty well without those, if you catch my drift" I said

"Bella, you look lovely" Edward said. "I don't think you should go on your date like that"

"Then what would you rather her wear" Alice snapped at him "These clothes are for a purpose!"

"A really baggy long sleeved shirt, sweatpants, tennis shoes, a head scarf and sunglasses" Edward responded "But I can see that Alice won't allow that"

"So, ready to go to the secret room?" Alice asked "Wait, the new girl will be here in three"

"Three minutes?" Emmett asked

"Nope, seconds" Alice responded. Right on cue, the front door flew open and there stood a girl outside. She was dressed like us. In a black sweater, black pants, and black flats.

"Hello" She said "I'm Isabelle" I almost laughed at the irony

"Hi!" Alice shrieked "I'm…"

"Alice, yeah I know" She responded "And don't bother with introductions, I know all of you really well, I know all about your secret plan too, that's why I'm all dressed up"

"Yay!" Alice said

"How do you know?? Jasper asked

"Power" She said back "I can see people's memories, and play them back. For instance, Edward, there was this one time…" She trailed off, and then I found myself standing in whole different room. There as a TV on one wall, and all the Cullens were sitting on couches, but they couldn't see us

"Hey, look, I'm watching TV!" Emmett said. "Hi Emmett, this is Emmett!" He boomed a loud laughter

"Emmett, they can't hear you" Isabelle said "This is a memory. You are all watching a James Bond movie"

"Oh no" Edward said "Not this, Bella close your eyes"

"Why?" I asked. Before he could answer, the Edward from the memory jumped off the couch and squealed.

"I love this movie!" He exclaimed. Wow, and I thought that Edward wasn't like this. We exited the memory

"And that was the start of Edward's James Bond phase" Isabelle said "And he bought a bunch of gadgets and gizmos, a ton of hidden cameras, toy guns, bugging devices, and all the other spy gear."

"You know everything about us, don't you?" Edward asked

"Basically" Isabelle responded "So, are we going to do operation Dingbat or not?"

"Let's go! You can meet Esme and Carlisle later!" Alice exclaimed "As for now, why don't we go to the secret lair"

Isabelle laughed and skipped off out to the backyard, her shiny light brown hair flowing behind her. There was no way we were going to keep any secrets from her. She had left her luggage and all in the entrance, not even bothering to carry it up to her new room. She and Alice were going to be great friends. I could tell. We followed after her, to this 'secret lair' from Edward's James Bond phase. I always thought that he hated people named James.

When we arrived at a strange green colored rose, Edward told me to stop. Alice knelt down by the rose, and pulled at one of the petals. The petal didn't come off, surprisingly, but opened a small compartment in the ground. Alice bent down and whispered something so quietly, that I couldn't hear it. Suddenly, in the forest by the house, a tree bent in half, revealing hinges holding it together. Alice happily skipped there, punching something into the tree, before lifting it right off the ground. A hole large enough for Emmett to just barely fit through was revealed, and we all ran off towards there.

"After you, love" Edward said. I jumped down into the hole, and landed on something squishy. The lights flickered on, and I saw that I was on a memory foam mattress.

"Hey, Bella!" Isabelle said "This place is really cool." She had a pair of super dark sunglasses in her hand, and she was twirling it around her fingers. She had another pair on and there was a ton more in a small basket by her. "Put on some shades, we have planning to do"

Unfortunately, the dress I was wearing didn't allow for easy movement, and I didn't get over as fast as I wanted to. I was the slowest runner right now, outside and even slower inside for some reason. I would change out of this, as soon as possible. I reached into the basket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. They all looked the same to me. I slipped them on. Suddenly, I could see everything behind me. Ah, that was what was so special about these sunglasses. I could see in front of me out of my right eye and something was allowing me to see behind me from my left eye. This was pretty cool. I saw Edward land on the mattress, followed by Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and then Jasper.

"Hey Bella, I see you put on a pair of our reverse sunglasses" Alice said "Edward bought those during his phase"

"Can we please not talk about my phase?" Edward asked "It's embarrassing"

"Ha ha, never brother" Emmett said "Besides, at least since Renesmee and Jacob went on an extended honeymoon, there's two less people to tease you, consider this a reward"

"So, what do we need?" Jasper asked. I just then noticed how hilarious he looked. He was wearing an old Confederate soldier uniform, even the hat and shoes. Complete with "Major Jasper Whitlock" stitched onto it. He must have saved it from the time he was in the Civil War

"Nice costume, Jasper" Isabelle said "So you were Major Whitlock. General Lee told me

a lot about you"

"You were in the war?" He asked, suddenly enthusiastic. His enthusiasm poured into all of us, and we all became very excited about what Isabelle had to say

"Sure, I dressed as a guy and such, I thought it would be a nice life experience, although I was fighting for the Union, me and Lee were just old acquaintances, he had no idea that I was on the Union side" Isabelle said

"Oh" Jasper said, probably disappointed that she was a Union soldier, not a Confederate.

"What do we need?' I asked

"Bella, you don't need anything, however, me and Rose had a few things to bring along" Alice said, taking a gigantic bag and stuffing it with random items in the room. "And Isabelle will be very handy in our little plan."

"So what exactly is this plan?" I asked.

"Just wait and see" Alice responded "It's going to be good"

"And fun" Rosalie added

"Yes, definitely fun" Alice said "So Bella, just sit back, and watch the masters do their work"

"Alright" I said. Then Alice flipped a switch on the wall, and the right wall lifted up. So that was why there was nothing hanging there, and no shelves in front of it. The whole room was lined in shelves, all filled with gadgets that I had no idea what they were for. And then hanging on hooks were all different types of spy gear, some that I think were illegal in all fifty states and Puerto Rico. I could see a staircase, probably leading out.

"Come" Rosalie said. I followed everybody to the stairs, which weren't very steep, and seemed to go on forever. "Let's run" Rosalie said. We all grinned and took off like bullets though the rest of the long passageway and up the final set of stairs. We were outside at last

"Alice, how long did that thing go?" I asked

"Six miles" Emmett said, answering instead of Alice "We can run back to the house though. Emmett went up to a small oak tree, which upon closer inspection, was fake. He opened a panel and the forest floor began to slide and cover the hole in which we had come though.

We ran back to the house quickly, arriving in just one minute, where the Aston Martin was outside, ready to be used

"No!" Edward yelled "We are not using it"

"Oh, Edward, don't be so protective of your toys" Alice said "It goes with everything. A James Bond car to go with this mission"

"If you don't let us use it, I'll tell everybody about what happened when you bought it" Isabelle said "Trust me, you'll be too ashamed to look anybody in the eye for weeks"

"Ooh, I wanna hear!" Emmett said

"Sorry Emmett" Isabelle said "I keep it a secret in exchange for usage of this car"

"Aw, poo" Emmett said

"Don't say that" Isabelle scolded him "You know that you wish you could poo, you even tried it once when you were stuck home alone"

Edward burst out laughing, he collapsed into the pavement and was rolling around. Jasper began to laugh, and soon all of us were effected. In this case, when they say happiness is contagious—it's quite literal. Soon we died down and Emmett was hiding his face

"Don't be embarrassed, Emmy-poo" Rosalie said, snickering a little "I think it's manly of you to want to be so human" Emmett beamed and went in to kiss her. I quickly turned away.

"So, ready for this?" Alice asked

"Let's liquidate, eradicate, eliminate, dispatch, destroy, embarrass, agitate, fluster, mortify, abash, and get revenge on the Dingbatt" Rosalie said evilly

"And don't' forget, Tiffin-monster is next, and we will persecute her" Emmett said

"Just like they did to the pilgrims" Isabelle said

"It's showtime" Jasper finished. Let the games begin

**No Comment down here, unless you want to tell me how to conjugate the word "Aller" in French (Just the 'vous' conjugation) I'm having problems with it, stupid French teacher's substitute didn't even tell us what that word means! Well, please review and the next chapter will be about operation Dingbat Destruction.**


	9. Operation Dingbat

**I'm back, after more than a month, after all that waiting I had to put you though. Yeah, I suck. I know, I've heard. I'm babbling. I'm going straight to the point. I think that I had a life changing moment in the last few weeks. Don't ask about it, but I have, and now I see the world with a whole new light. That was probably something that isn't very important to you…**

**Anyway, here's something you should know about Isabelle. Her power's aren't mental, so Bella can't block her out. Just something that you guys should know, some of you asked about it. Also, in other news, when New Moon comes out, I'm going to bring a list of 100 things to do in a theater and see if I can get kicked out (or I'll try not to) because honestly, I'll probably just almost throw up when I watch the movie because of my nasty habit of picturing teachers as all the characters. I do not want to have that experience again. (I was seeing a teacher kissing Kristen Stewart, talk about brain corruption).**

**So, if anybody has ideas on what I could do in a theater, just tell me. So far, I have things like: make commentary like a grandmother, chew really loud and slup drinks, shoot spitballs at everybody (definitely doing that, I'm the master at spitballing), make farting noises, throw popcorn, make obnoxious noises, and tell a couple to get a room. I need a whole lot more, so I need ideas.**

**Well, now here comes the story. And this chapter is of course, titled "Operation Dingbat" It's in Bella's POV**

**Chapter 9: Operation Dingbat**

Operation Dingbat is a go. VP Ding picked me up a few seconds ago, and we were in his beat up Honda, driving along. Not the best way to go to a romantic (shudder) dinner. I had to act like I was enjoying myself, that was what Alice told me. I had a secret microphone in my ear, where Alice would be giving me commands. I would be the one who would be scaring the Dingbat off. Alice just thought of all the pranks.

Rosalie and Isabelle were in it. Isabelle would be searching through Dingbat's memories for embarrassing moments which I could say out loud to the would. Rosalie would be making out with Emmett obnoxiously in the booth next to us, just to annoy Dingbat. Only Jasper was holding Edward back because Dingbat would probably try to make some moves on me.

"So, Bella, hi" Dingbat said, trying to make small talk with me in the bumpy car. I grunted and stared out the window. "Um, you look nice tonight…" nice try at flattery sicko. He was eyeing a part of my body that I did not want to be eyed. I folded my arms over me chest and turned away from him. He was driving at a annoying slow pace. Twenty mph! A snail could go faster than that!

We pulled up into the restaurant and went in. There, a waiter in tuxedo greeted us

"Ding" Dingbat said "A more private area please" The waiter nodded and gestured for us to follow him. I'd say that this was the fanciest restaurant I've ever been to. Everywhere there was gold, candles, and fancy people dining on things like cheese liver, but saying it like "Liver du Fromage" to make it sound better. Sick. I didn't even eat these things when I was human.

"_Alright, Bella, it's time to scare him away. Start with operation A"_ Alice said to me. Yes, she named each thing I would do to scare of Dingbat. Operation A was the first thing I would do. She had me memorize operations A-Z as well as an operation ABC.

"Um, sir" I said, tapping the waiter on the shoulder. He turned and nodded "May I have crayons and a coloring sheet, I'm going to be bored"

"I'm sorry, we don't have those here. We have edible crayons, but those are reserved for our 'crayon du fromage' meal" The waiter said

"But I want my coloring sheet!" I said, stomping my feet. Dingbat chuckled nervously and steered me to our table

"She forgot to take her meds today" He told the waiter sheepishly

"I'm not on meds!" I screamed, and the people dining turned to look at me. Dingbat put a hand over my mouth and chucked again. The waiter glanced at us for a moment, before pulling out chairs out for us and handing us each a menu.

"_Good job, Bella"_ Alice said to me _"Now operation B begins!"_ I heard Isabelle and Rosalie chuckle in the background

"_And mention the time he kissed a guy on accident"_ Isabelle said to me. I sighed and began operation B

I sniffed, well, I pretended to sniff. Dingbat looked at me, and then back at his menu

"Aren't you going to look at your menu?" He asked

"No" I said "I know what I want. But you know, you seem to know this place well, is this where you kissed that boy?" I asked

"I, uh…" He said "I didn't…"

"Oh my gosh, you kissed a guy!" I screeched. Heads turned again, and looked at Dingbat, who was downright embarrassed. I sniffed again "My nose a bit stuffed up" I grabbed his arm and blew my nose into it. Quickly squeezing some clear gel onto his sleeve. He looked at his sleeve, and carefully wiped what he thought was my snot off.

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asked, coming back.

"_Operation C"_ Alice commanded. The girls were giggling again. Just then, we heard the smooching. Rosalie and Emmett were going their part. They were two feet away from us, making out like there was no tomorrow. Dingbat looked at bit uncomfortable. I swore I saw a bead of sweat on his head.

"I'll have the spaghetti bolognaise" Dingbats said "I'd like some bisque for soup, wine to drink, and chocolate mousse for desert" The waiter nodded and wrote his order down. Then he turned to me

"I'd like a bucket of lard and a big fat double cheeseburger cut into small pieces so I don't choke" I said to him "I also want to drink juicy juice and for desert I want Crisco with chocolate syrup" the waiter looked a bit shocked and Dingbat was definitely embarrassed. This was so much fun

"Um, I'm afraid we don't have cheeseburgers or juicy juice. However, I might offer you a chicken breast or wine" He said

"Actually then, I want some slightly gritty fondant icing. And some carrots to go with that. I want to you sculpt the fondant into a bunny and place a carrot in it's mouth. I want my bucket or lard in a metal bucket and I want my Crisco with chocolate in a big glass cup. I want you to get somebody out here to taste my food to make sure you didn't poison it, and I want a pile of chicken bones to feed to my invalid mother" I told him

"Um, she'll just have the pasta" Dingbat said to me. The waiter nodded and began to walk away

"Wait, I need my bucket of lard!" I called. Heads turned towards us and I grinned. This was way too much fun

"_Operation D"_ Alice said to me. I smiled. This one would make him squirm

"So did you hear about my past boyfriends?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Well, my first boyfriend was Steve. He was twelve years younger than me. I think I corrupted that two year old. But he wasn't so good in bed, so I dumped him"

Dingbat was looking at me with his mouth open

"So then I moved on to Leo, and seriously, Leo means Leo, that guy was like a lion, so I dumped him. I then dated my manager for the first job I held. I was the shoe polisher. Well, it ended after my dog bit him. So I moved on to my co-worker from Taco Bell. I loved that job because I got to eat tacos. Well, I quit because my job was to wear a taco suit and stand outside advertising, and the taco suit was too hot. Then I dated—"

"Alright" Dingbat said "You dated a lot of people"

The waiter came with our food then. He placed Dingbat's bisque in front of him, and his spaghetti

"One bisque and one spaghetti bolognaise" He said, then he placed my pasta in front of me "One pasta and one bucket of lard" he took out a bucket filled with lard and put it in front of me. It wasn't a small bucket either. The lard inside was making my nose wrinkle, but I thanked the waiter anyway

"_Operation E"_ Alice said. I nodded, knowing that she could probably see me. Alice had to take part in this. I saw a almost microscopic black string hanging in front of me. I looked up and saw Alice hanging from the ceiling. I grabbed the string and attached a needle to it. I threaded it though my pasta while Dingbat was eating. Soon, I had a pasta necklace. I tied it onto me and winked at Alice

"Don't you just love this necklace?" I asked Dingbat, who looked up

"Uh" I said

"You like it, don't you?" I asked again, making my voice sound kind of said

"Oh course I do" He said nervously

"LIAR!" I yelled

"No, I'm not!" He said. I huffed and pretended to take a bit of lard.

"_Operation F"_ Alice said over the microphone. Here comes another one, I thought. I pretended to be chewing on something

"So, I mean, how are you?" I asked Dingbat "You know, sometimes when I'm at home, I drink peanut oil, funny isn't it? It gives me these ridiculous boils on my back, and I have to pop them to prevent anybody from seeing them. I mean, they are like volcanoes! When they go pop it's like some massive eruption!"

"That's…nice" Dingbat said. He pushed his plate away. I got him to lose his appetite. Awesome

"Your desert" The waiter said, coming over. He placed chocolate mousse in front of Dingbat and Crisco with chocolate in front of me. Dingbat grimaced when he saw it. I don't blame him. Crisco is one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life.

"Oh my god, this Crisco reminds me of my yodeling pickle!" I exclaimed. Soon, the whole restaurant was looking at me

"_Alright, Bella, I need to you talk without verbs, and talk in third person"_ Alice said to me "_Don't ask, just do it"_

"Did I tell you about that time?" I asked Dingbat

"Er, what time, I'm sure you've had a lot of times" He replied. Looking at my Crisco with a disgusted expression

"Well, I was, when I, and he, I mean maple syrup just needs to be thicker, that guy who, that fish was massive, you have no idea. I was all night long, and seriously, it is one of those you had to be there moments." I looked at him, and he even looked a bit scared

"Bella wants to go potty" I said "Bella went potty yesterday, oh my gosh, you have no idea what happened, Bella was like an ice cream machine"

"That's…cool" Dingbat said "Excuse me" he pushed his chair away and walked off. I saw him handing the waiter a bill and going into the bathroom.

"_It worked, you scared him off, I'm so proud of you!"_ Alice practically yelled into my ear. I was rejoicing inside my head. _"Now get your butt of that restaurant, and watch what he does at school" _

Tonight was the most fun I have had in years

**Chapter 9 is done, and it was definitely my favorite chapter. I had so much fun writing this, you have no idea. Please review and give me some ideas on what the Cullen's should do to Tiffany on her date with Emmett. I will see you next chapter! Whee!**


	10. TiffinBomber

**Oh, my friends, it's been so long =(. I'm sorry. I've been working on a new story, and trying to make it perfect. I want it to be my best story. If you have forgotten, what has recently happened in this story was that Bella and crew embarrassed the vice principal on his and Bella's date. Now, it's time to embarrass Emmett's date. Written in Edward's POV, because there isn't enough of that around here.**

**Oh, BTW, the outfits are now going to be on my profile again, starting with this chapter. **

**Chapter 10: Operation Tiffin-Bomber**

There are three things I love. Number one is Bella, that was a no-brainer. Number two was a brilliant mind. And number three was….Bella. Alright, I can't come up with anything better, but my wife is a genius!

"Operation Dingbat was a success" She said "But I have a brilliant idea for Tiffin-Bomber, you see…we all know Tiffany is a major drama queen and gullible beyond words, so why not convince her about something?"

So it wasn't the best idea ever, but it was better than anybody else could come up with. Emmett wanted to superglue her to her chair, which we agreed to do. Alice wanted to paint her red…that was kind of dumb. Jasper wanted to mess with her emotions, and that was an alright idea, and Isabelle wanted to blow her up. Bad idea.

"It's a great idea" Isabelle said "I'm going to be leaving soon anyways, so why not do what I want?"

"You're leaving?" Alice asked "Why didn't I see this, I thought you were going to stay for at least a year"

"Yes, but I found love" Isabelle said warmly "And I'm going to move in with him"

"When the heck did that happen?" Alice asked

"Two minutes ago, but shh, don't tell, it's a secret" Isabelle whispered

"Good for you, congratulations" Alice responded

"Thanks"

"Let's get the show on the road" Emmett said, straightening his tie and running a comb through his hair quickly.

Emmett got into a car to pick Tiffany up from her house, and we trailed behind by a few minutes, preparing our attack.

***

Emmett and Tiffany would be going to a movie. They were watching some movie about a monster and a girl. Very stereotypical and probably boring. Tiffany had on a dress that barely reached past mid-thigh and some stiletto heels that she kept stumbling in. She had painted her nails a vivid red. Her eyes were doused in heavy make up and the had a layer of foundation caked onto her face. From where we were in the back row, she looked like a Barbie doll.

When the movie started, Tiffany looked at Emmett out of the corner of her eye and licked her lips. She leaned closer to him. He shoved a piece of popcorn into her mouth and that caused her to move back. She spit it out and coughed.

"Shhh!" An old lady said from behind her. And hit her with a bowling shoe.

"Ouch!" Tiffany said "Watch where you're putting those things grandma!"

"Young lady, someday you'll be in jail. Why, back in my day, you'd already be removed from the theater" The old lady said.

"Whatever" Tiffany mumbled.

We giggled from the back and I put my arm around Bella. She leaned her head on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

"Would you two stop it?" Rosalie asked

"Sorry" I mumbled, but I grabbed Bella's hand anyway.

"Oh my god, this movie is so scary" Tiffany said

"It's real" Emmett announced "You'll die if you aren't careful! There could be a monster around the corner ready to eat you!"

"Ahhh!" Tiffany screamed "No, no, no, that can't be, it's fake, right?"

"That's what they all say" Emmett said in a scary voice

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Tiffany screamed and shut her eyes tightly

"Be quiet!" The old lady said again "Or I will call the cops!"

"Shut up!" Tiffany said "There is a girl about to be eaten by a monster"

WHACK!

Down came the bowling shoe on her head again, this time with more force than the last time.

"Would you stop that?!" Tiffany asked

"Would you let us watch the movie?" The old lady asked

"Is there a problem here ladies?" A mall cop came up to them and looked them in the eye

"What are you doing here?" Tiffany said angrily

"Well, there have been some complaints going on around here about the noise you two are making" The cop said "I'm going to have to take both of you to the office"

"I'm an eighty-seven year old senior citizen" The old lady said "Do I really have to go? I'm probably going to die in a few days anyway"

"I'm sorry ma'am, you don't have to come, but I'm going to have to bring the teenager" The cop said

"But you're my cousin!" Tiffany screeched

"I don't care, come along now" The cop said, pulling out handcuffs and gesturing to Tiffany to stand up.

She made a movement to stand up, but stayed firmly on the seat. She grunted and tried again.

"What the heck?!" She exclaimed

"Miss, hurry up" The cop said, "We are disrupting others"

"I'm trying, I'm trying" Tiffany cried

She tried to stand up again

"Here, let me help" The cop said, and took out a pair of scissors. He cut right though the bottom of her dress. She stood up and let out a sigh of relief

"Cover yourself young lady!" The old lady gasped.

We all looked on in shock of Tiffany's underwear—or lack of.

"Ahhh!" Tiffany screamed. "Give me your jacket!"

She took a random person's jacket and wrapped it around her waist

"I'm going to the bathroom, be right back!" She said

"I'm coming along" The cop said, "I can't have you escaping."

"I'm going" Bella whispered "Wish me luck"

BELLA'S POV

I crept out of the theater and followed Tiffany into the bathroom. She was in a corner with her head tucked in between her knees. She was sobbing about her lost dress, and honestly, I didn't care about her dress at all.

I went into a stall and breathed before putting my plan into action.

"Ughhhhh! Ughhhh!" I grunted. I heard Tiffany's sobs stop for a brief moment. Then I dropped a small bowling ball into the toilet bowl

"AHHHH!" She screamed, and ran out of the bathroom. I smiled in victory and left.

When I left the bathroom, I was graced with the scene of the mall cop chasing Tiffany down the hall. I laughed and smiled to myself. Mission accomplished.

***

The next day at school was the last day of spirit week. Dress up day. We were put into formal dresses and the guys were in suits. The people who didn't believe in spirit wore tee shirts and jeans. I was not allowed to wear anything informal like that, thanks to Alice.

I was put into a pink dress and high heels. I wouldn't trip over them, but I felt awkward wearing them to school. At least I wasn't the only dressed up very formally.

Tiffany never showed up at school, and VP Ding avoided eye contact with me, which was good. I only hope both of them don't show up at the school dance tonight.

"Remember how we had a bet?" Emmett asked at lunch

"Yes, I know, people lose if they get asked out the most or least" Alice said

"Well, who won?" I asked

"Rosalie, would you please let us know your results?" Emmett asked

"Eight" Rosalie said "I got asked to the dance by eight people"

Turns out she was right in the middle. Edward had the most, I had the least…both of us would have to do bad things.

"Bella, you have to flirt with the Ding-Bat. Ha ha, and after your horrible date too!" Emmett laughed

"Shut up" I muttered

"And Edward has to burn Carlisle's favorite medical book and destroy Esme's gardening tools. In front of both of them" Rosalie said, smirking. Edward and I groaned and grabbed each others hand. We squeezed tight, trying to get all our anger out of our system.

"It'll be fine, but have fun anyway" Alice said "We start on Monday. So you've got a weekend to enjoy your lives before they are destroyed"

"We're going out tomorrow night" Edward told me "I'm taking you out somewhere special"

"Sounds good to me" I said

"But we have to get ready for the dance tonight" Alice said "I'm so excited!"

Yay, isn't that great? I could only imagine what would happen at the dance.

**Ideas for what happens at the dance? I have some, but you guys have awesome ideas too. Je offer-lui un hamburger! Ha ha, JK, that didn't make sense. Well, you know what to do. Just review, and remember that outfits will be on my profile. These include Tiffany's dress, and Bella's dress and yeah….**

**Au revoir**


	11. Berry and Bunny

**Oh sigh….it's been a long time hasn't it? I can go on for hours with a list of excuses, but that would be boring right? Well, I'll just give you the most recent excuse, which is that my internet has been a pain and never seems to work. So now, on the lovely day of June 28, 2010, a particularly boring day….you see, I don't go to nerd camp for a few more weeks. My life is pretty boring, I'm spending a lot of time preparing for the PSAT and taking acting classes….so yeah…hehe, sorry for not updating sooner. I'll stop rambling and just give you the story. So here goes!**

**Because of the long time I have spent on hiatus, I'm sure you guys forgot what was going on with this story. So basically, the whole gang is getting ready to go to the school dance.**

"I don't even need that much makeup" I grumbled to Alice, "We're vampires, we are already supposed to be beautiful"

"It's not about being beautiful, it's about trying to fit in with everyone else. Come on Bella, who doesn't wear makeup to a dance?" Alice asked with a pout on her face.

"Just do your thing" I said, gesturing towards Alice's overstocked vanity filled with the latest makeup products.

"Alright, let's start with some eyeshadow. Ooh, what color should we use? Your dress is green, so it would make sense to use green, but that is too typical. Maybe we should use brown and make you all woodland fairy and such! Or gold! Gold is such a pretty color! Hmm, I think silver would be nice too. What do you think? Green, brown, gold, or silver?" Alice asked me.

"I could care less" I replied

"But it's so hard to choose" Alice complained

"Fine, brown, let's at least keep it natural" I said grumpily

"Ooh! I have a great idea!"

In the end, it wasn't all that natural, but I kind of actually liked it. The eyeshadow wasn't exactly super natural, it was ridiculously glittery, but Alice was careful not to overdo the eyeliner and didn't use too much blush so that I looked like a porcelain doll.

"You look great" Rosalie said, entering the room, clothed in a gorgeous black dress and red lipstick. She looked perfect like always

"Thanks" I said, getting up from the chair I was sitting in.

"Wait! We need to do your hair!" Alice said "I promise it'll take only five minutes!"

"Fine" I sighed. Looking at my messy hair. I guess I probably _should _make it look nice….

So Rosalie brushed out my hair and Alice got a hair product that was supposed to "work miracles" I think it was called "The Minute Miracle Hair Product". Alice worked it through my hair, and I soon found myself with perfect waves. She ran her fingers through it lightly to not mess it up and beamed.

"All done" Alice said.

We were ready to descend down the stairs. I decided to go first. Whenever we had dances, I always had to go down the stairs last for some reason. I met Edward at the bottom, who placed a small kiss on my lips and gave me a rose.

"You look beautiful" He said.

"You look handsome" I replied.

We went into a limo that Edward had hired for us. The driver's name was Berry, which I though was kind of funny, because you normally find guys named Berry. You might find Barry, but Berry was just….abnormal.

"Hallo" He said. "Me name izza Berry"

My eyebrow raised and I looked at Edward. He shrugged

"I don't know what country he's from" He said

"Well zen, let us to be go to the partying, yes right?" Berry asked

"Yes" I said, holding back a laugh at Berry's strange grammar.

No matter how strange Berry was, he was an amazing driver and got us to the dance quickly. Edward handed him some bills.

"Thank for you very much kind sirs" Berry said "I will back to be pick you up in the time of three hours"

"Thank you Berry" I said. He smiled at me and drove off.

"What a queer one" Edward said, "Now, let's go dance, I can't wait to hold you in my arms"

Edward rushed us in there, and I had to work to get him to stop

"Wait, what about Alice and Jasper and Ro—"

"Whatever!" Edward said quickly. I frowned at him

"Tell me what is going on" I demanded

"Well—" Edward said

"Bella!" Alice called my name and I turned and saw her walked quickly towards me.

"Hey Alice" I said

"Okay Bella, just go find Dingbat and flirt with him. Just, you know, touch his arm and talk seductively or something" Alice said. Edward groaned

"This was why you were in a hurry?" I asked Edward

"Yes!" He exclaimed "I don't want you to flirt with that….repulsive….obnoxious….vulgar…annoying…..abhorrent…."

"Whoa Edward!" Emmett said, entering the scene, "Let's try to talk with simple words"

"Be glad it's not Rosalie flirting with the most revolting man in the building" Edward said

"That I am" Emmett said happily "Have fun Bella, and if he gives you any trouble, he has to answer to me!"

"Go on!" Alice nudged me, "You can dance romantically with Edward after you've done your flirting."

I sighed, "Wish me luck"

"Bella, you know you don't have to—" Edward tried to stop me, I interrupted him

"Edward, I agreed to this, now just let me get it over with. I don't like it any better than you, alright?"

I walked around slowly, and found the Dingbat himself sitting in a chair in a white suit. He shaved his head, and now it was smooth like an egg and as shiny as the lipgloss I had on.

"Hey cutie" I said, walking up to him. If I was human I would be swallowing bile.

"Uh, hey" Dingbat said, scooting away from me slightly. Our date must have scarred him for life.

"So, you look lonely" I said, trailing my finger down his arm.

"Oh, yeah, heh, I'm a lonely one…..yeah!" He said, trying to move away from me

"Why are you scared?" I asked

"You know…..hehe….nerves, I have a um…big job interview tomorrow!" Dingbat said.

"Hahahahahaha!" I fake laughed, "Oh you're so funny! You already have a job!"

"Um, um, gotta go!" Dingbat said, tearing out of the place so fast that his right shoe fell off. I went to pick it up.

"Huh, funny, I thought Cinderella was supposed to be a girl" I heard an annoying voice say. I looked up and saw Tiffany standing there with a grin on her face. "So, our little Bella has a crush on the vice-principal. Won't her boyfriend be eager to find out"

"Tiffany, leave me alone" I said

"Oh, our dear Edward will be heartbroken" She said, pretending to cry, "But I have a shoulder to cry on for him"

"Tiffany, he won't be affected" I said

"You mean you guys already broke up?" She asked with interest

"No!" I yelled, "We will never break up! He knows I was just faking it with Dingbat!"

"Dingbat?" Tiffany asked

"I mean, vice-principal Ding"

"Hmmm, I see" She said, "Well I'm see you around Bella" And then she walked off to find her date and they began dirty dancing and I rolled my eyes.

"Bella" Edward said, coming up to me "Let's dance. I'm so sorry you had to deal with Dingbat and that vile girl"

"It's not your fault" I said, "Now let's just enjoy the rest of the night, alright?"

"Okay"

And then we danced and danced and it was like there was nobody around us. And we stared into each others eyes the whole time. We didn't stop to get drinks or go make out in the janitor's closet. He held me and I held him and we lost ourselves to the music.

Berry came to pick us up three hours later as promised

"Hallo Bella and the Edward, I hope you is have the best time of the life!" He said

"We have a very good time, thank you Berry" I said

"Let's go home" Edward said, taking my hand.

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Renesmee. I quickly answered

"Hello"

"Hey mom, guess what Jacob just did!" Renesmee said excitedly

"Did he eat a giant hot dog or something?" I asked, rolling my eyes. Jacob tended to show off during his and Renesmee's honeymoons.

"No!" Renesmee said "Gosh mom, you suck at guessing. Anyway, he bought me this giant chocolate bunny, and I had to tell him that it wasn't Easter, and he told me that it was on sale for two dollars. Can you believe it? He got a five foot tall chocolate bunny for only two dollars. It's Godiva chocolate I think!"

"Okay then" I said, a bit stunned. That was….out of the blue. "Are you guys going to eat it?"

"No mom!" Renesmee said "That's so typical. We're going to melt if all down and then take a chocolate bath. How cool is that!"

"That's interesting honey" I said, still a bit shocked. "Why are you guys going to do that?"

"Come on mom, tell you that you've wanted to do something like that. I mean, jumping into swimming pools of jello, and making fish with Chinese bamboo steamers and catching flies with chopsticks!"

"Have you guys been doing that?" I asked

"Well um…yeah. That and ahem…other things, it _is _a honeymoon you know"

"Alright, I don't need to know the details" I said

"I don't either" Edward grumbled. I wanted to laugh. He was always grumpy when it came to Renesmee and her love life. He reminded me of Charlie in that way. When Renesmee lost her virginity, he broke a television and dived the bottom of a lake to scream in frustration.

"Okay mom, well have fun at school while I'm chilling in Hawaii" She said

"Bye honey" I said

"Bye mom!" Renesmee said and then hung up.

"That stupid mongrel" Edward said

"What did he do now? He bought a giant chocolate bunny, it don't see what's wrong with that, I mean, it is a bit abnormal, but hey, it's Jacob" I said laughing

"Yeah sure" Edward said.

"Here is the home of the two of you people" Berry said. Edward quickly paid him "Well, now I is to be going to my English class now, goodbye"

"He was a nice guy" I said

"Come on, let's go do something. I have to burn Carlisle's medical books tomorrow and destroy Esme's gardening tools, I might as well enjoy one last night in their good graces"

"That is going to be so interesting" I said

Edward didn't say anything. He just kissed me, and we made our way to our bedroom where we didn't talk. We just enjoyed each other.

**Alright. There goes another chapter. You know, starting to write fanfiction again has got me kind of pumped. Now what this story needs is some sort of drama. Ideas please? **

**Oh, and I just have to admit this. It's just something I've decided to admit you all of you dedicated readers. I am actually not a big Twilight fan. In fact, I never went to watch New Moon, and nor do I intend to watch Eclipse when it comes out in…two days? I think. But, I think the characters are really fun and I really enjoy them, which is why I write fanfiction. I am not a Twilight hater, I'm just not a screaming fangirl I guess, haha, please don't hate me for admitting that, we are all subjected to our own opinions.**

**Alright, so I just have to thank all of you to sticking with me though this story considering I take so long between updates. I promise to try to do better about that. And thank you SOOOOO much for all the positive reviews. You guys make my day! **


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